Entirely Petty Rankings: Best Team Name

A good name can do you wonders. If your name is, let's say, Mason Masters, people assume you're ruggedly handsome and very talented. On the other hand, a name can give people pretty lackluster expectations. If you're named Bruce Bourdreau, for example, people assume you're going to flame out of the playoffs every April. So having a good name as a franchise is important. It not only sets a tone but can influence the future of your team for years to come. The Central has some great ones, but it also has some real stinkers. So here's Mason Masters' ruggedly handsome list of best team names in the Central Division.

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You Better Watch Out! Central Division Naughty & Nice List

We are three months into the NHL's 100th season so far, every team, except for Minnesota, has led the Central Division for at least a night. Even Colorado, who is objectively awful, continue to have moments of inspired play. This wide-open division might be the cream of the crop in the NHL, & justly has millions of eyes on its teams week in & week out. Obviously, one pair of those eyes belong to Santa himself. The jolly bringer of gifts from the frozen north is an avid hockey fan & he has been tweaking his naughty & nice list since the offseason. So here it is folks, a Central Divided exclusive from St. Nick himself, directly from the North Pole:

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Smashville V Steel City: Mustard Yellow For Everybody!

Boys and Girls, we have reached that time of the year that is as magical as it is fleeting, the Stanley Cup Finals. In the next two weeks, men from all walks of life will fight over every square inch of ice to cement their legacy as champions. The teams they represent have dreams of glory; one team on the verge of successfully retaining the Cup for the first time in 20 years, and the other hopes to take it home to one of the most unique fan bases in sports for the very first time. The Nashville Predators and Pittsburgh Penguins will bring speed, toughness, and way too much yellow to the Stanley Cup Finals on Monday. Here’s how it will all shake out.

Before we begin, let me (Mason Masters) just say the opinions that follow are mine and are not Zack McCann’s because the only words he’s been able to conjure in his mind since Nashville’s Game 6 victory have been expletives. 

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